=my sissy pillow book=

Long after dinner, after snack-time, too, Daddy rolled his bicycle inside from the balcony & decided to do some greasing & tightening of this & that & I thought it a good time to take a shower & wash my hair. I was sitting there in the bathroom with a towel over my head & reading Middlemarch when I heard a gruff shout over the sound of the hair dryer. 

"You're taking too long in there," Daddy said. 

I was so suddenly startled out of the mid-18th century that I nearly dropped my book. I thought Daddy had to use the bathroom but, no, he needed to use my mouth instead. 

"I want a blow job," he announced, loudly enough, I fear, for everyone in the bed & breakfast to hear. 

"Okay," I squeaked, now frantically trying to get my hair dry enough not to look so much like a gopher sadly washed down a sewer drain & drowned. 

Another  growl on the other side of the door, this one seeming more ominous & somehow even closer than the first, informed me that he was already tired of waiting & I was to come out right now. But first he wanted me to put on some red lipstick & "plenty of it." 

I did my best with my hair & looking like a sad drowned gopher wearing plenty of red lipstick I exited the bathroom. 

"Have you been smoking that Panda Glue again?" I asked in a jocular tone. 

Daddy was having none of it.

"You're damn right I have," he said curtly. "And I want my sissy to suck my cock. Now." 

Daddy established himself on the glider & I knelt down to where his cock was already out of his underpants. A long, wet, slurpy blow job ensued, during which Daddy made me repeat various humiliating statements to the effect that I was a submissive sissy cocksucker who would do anything for Daddy, no matter how degrading because, in fact, I was good for nothing else, and because I craved humiliation. He mentioned that he liked cramming his big cock into my mouth & using me like a tramp & knowing he could do anything he wanted to me whenever he wanted that even though I was one of the smartest people he knew he could totally dominate me. 

He had me lick & suck his balls & warned me to "do it right" but this warning was only a setup so that he could quickly accuse me of not doing it right, at which point, Daddy pulled his cock out of my mouth, tilted my chin up so that I was looking into his eyes, & then slapped me. I was then made to say some more nasty humiliating things about myself & continued to suck Daddy's cock while looking up at him. 

At this point, I could feel that my little clittie was actually stiffening without any contact at all & I reached down to tentatively touch it. I was very turned-on & I'm sure I could have also cum along with Daddy but he hadn't given me permission so I obediently took my hand away.

Eventually, Daddy had enough of abusing me & decided to cum. Tonight he did this by pulling his cock out of my mouth & in effect vigorously jerking himself off into my face. I helped by licking the tip of his penis whenever it emerged from his fist & offering my cheek to be slapped by his hard-on. When Daddy came, he splashed cum all over my face & even onto my shoulder. I was quite drenched. I lie there collapsed at his feet like a crushed rose for a bit & then we both got up to dry ourselves. 

Daddy then had me fetch the massage oil & scamper off to the bedroom where he gave me a wonderful fully body oil massage, working his strong hands all the way from my shoulders to my toes. Then he stretched out beside me on the bed & slowly & teasingly tickled my limp clittie to what passes now for the semblance of a stiffie. Meanwhile he began speaking an erotic patois of various things he would do or have done to me. At one point he said he would like to see me doing lezzy stuff with a really butch girl like the tattooed one we saw in the cafe the other night, who, as it happens, I actually did find myself very briefly fantasizing about. He said he pictured me being very subby with this mean butch girl & I found myself going with this fantasy & spinning off on it while Daddy fell silent & increased his stimulation on my clittie, finding JUST THE RIGHT SPOT until I started moaning & squirming & kicking my feet & cumming uncontrollably. After that…well, there was nothing more to do but turn off the all the lights, curl into Daddy's shoulder, & fall into an angelic asleep. 

=new ebook=

click here:
available on Amazon Kindle for $2.99 

=The Chinese Lunatics=

This story is pure action, a thrill-a-minute. Unfortunately, it centers on the absolute pointlessness of human life. The setting is pretty depressing: a Chinese lunatic asylum. That's where we meet our hero, an old surgeon, well past his prime, a committed nihilist who lost his license to practice in the United States. Why bother to give him a name if he's the first one to assert that there's no point to anything?

No one really expects patients in a mental hospital to get better so the Chinese lunatics don't suffer too much from his negative attitude. The real problem is the economy. Like so many things, including mental illness, it's outside the reach of human control, though no one likes to admit it. So how do things happen? Who's really pulling the strings?

From our perspective, they would seem like beings from a magical race outside the laws of cause and effect. Why is it so hard for us to accept this? What is the difference between not believing this and being a nihilist?

That evening the surgeon writes in his journal: "Half the people here think they're Satan; the other half think they're Christ. In effect, it's Armageddon every day."

In effect, at that very moment, they were burning the place to the ground. The surgeon would have to shoot his way out of the parking lot when his shift ended. He kept his eye on the clock, waiting for quitting time. He writes in his journal: "It never arrives."

=Clytemnestra at the Crossroads=

The longest spaghetti
manson & manatee
mango
bango
the orbiting of nothing

fork

=The Sad Pandas=

Old men with pens

in paneled rooms

tight smiles

the passage of checks

across a desk polished

by the passage of checks

the final documents

out the window

out the window

rooftops

wires

black scribble of tree tops

walls with other windows

shadows flying upwards

oh the sad pandas

how do we bear their stupendous sadness

if i chewed 

a stick of thousand-year gum

i could not chew

more cherry flavor

out of it than i have already

There are deer prints 

in the carpet

beneath our feet

what if all of us noticed them & said nothing

said nothing like i said nothing

what if we were all terrified

what if we were all keeping the same secret

what if all of us could never forgive ourselves

what if we were all ashamed of we knew not what

what if we all wanted to say it

say it out loud just once

say it out loud just once & get it off our chest

what would we want to say

Go on, say it

go on, it's time

go on, I won't tell a soul, I promise

go on, for god's sake, 

the pandas are listening