In bed tonight, after a massage, Daddy toyed with me until i made a big sissycummi. At one point, he teasingly asked me what i wanted & I told him & I almost thought he was going to say "not tonight" but he kept on going & it really felt fantastic & lasted a pretty long time, as they tend to do nowadays, even though i don't get hard anymore & nothing of any substance (haha) really comes out. 

Before that, we talked about sex. He wanted to hear about what a slut I used to be but I explained how it wasn't quite like he might have thought. How I never went out to places just to have super-quick sex at x-rated bookstores or theaters, bathrooms or bathhouses, under piers or in alleys or motels or in cars in parking lots or wherever people usually have that kind of sex. I never had it on the spur of the moment with strangers but would always set up a date a week or at least a few days in advance. I was never desperate for it, like guys seem to be desperate for it, even the guys who call themselves sissygirls, who, really, i find to be no different in their obsessive sex-driven behaviors than any other kind of guy. More gay, really, than girl. Which made me think that no gay guy ever did or would find my sexuality has anything in common with theirs, not in their obsession with cocks & asses, or their urgency, or their general psychology, or their choices in super-explicit visual porn or fantasy or what attracts them in guys… nothing, really. We concluded thats because Im just too much of a girly-girl sissy for such roughhousing sex-anigans. 

Our talk somehow put him in mind of that girl we met in the motel in Queens….and Daddy had me laughing away about it, the way he described it. I don't know what he was expecting her to look like from whatever pictures she provided but apparently it was a far cry from what she ended up looking like & he put a quick end to the whole thing. He couldn't get into it at all. He thought it would be sexy to watch me getting it on with another girl before he stepped in & had us both but he said it was like watching a man groping & kissing me, not a girl at all & he couldn't get turned on doing anything with her at all  Well, I know that a lot of these "girls" are really just guys that get turned on by dressing & the minute they have an orgasm that's it, girl-time is over, & they go right back to being as much a guy as any guy. And I guess thats the way it was with this "girl." I tried to get into it for Daddy's sake but I was just playacting so when Daddy said "that's enough" it was easy to get up & leave. The whole point was to turn him on & if it wasn't….well there was no point to it at all. 

Anyway, that girl wasn't much of a girl, I suspect. Just a guy with a cross dressing  homoerotic fetish. Thats okay if thats what you're into, but, unfortunately, this is the view that a lot of people have about transgender people—that they're all like that. Just guys all horned up wearing women's clothes so you can understand their objection to having them use women's bathrooms & dressing rooms & stuff like that…you can understand it, but that doesn't make it any less ignorant. Sigh. It does make me angry that often times x-dressing fetishists like that call themselves "gurls" confusing the issue even further. They don't realize how much harder they're making it for truly transgender people by misidentifying themselves the way they do. Or they just don't care. Its just ignorance & apathy all around, like it is with practically everything in the world. Anyway I had forgotten a lot of the details but it all came back to me as Daddy recounted that night, leaving me practically gasping for air i was laughing so hard. Sometimes a crappy sex experience can be just as good in retrospect as a hot one if it ends up so comically bad that it leaves you laughing your ass off even a couple of years later.