=Better than Me=

Everything is better than me.

Every thing.

A fingernail is better than me.

A cat sleeping on a rug.

A crumb from a crumb cake.

A bloody nose with no tissues at hand is better than me.

Every single letter in the alphabet.

A cancelled stamp.

A mispronounced word.

Better than me.

A booger—yes a booger—is better than me.

Some guy in a wife-beater t-shirt beating his wife in the kitchen downstairs is better than me.

A broken roof shingle lying in the street.

A flat tire.

A sore toe.

A bounced check.

All of them, every single one of them:

Better than me.

Something a truck driver digs out of his ear and sniffs while waiting for a light to change.

A crushed can.

A stitch in your side.

Whatever’s reflected in any mirror.

Mustiness.

Moths in the flour.

Clank.

Pommel.

Stick a hose in it.

Let the air out.

You guessed it.

Rubber puddle.

Better than me.