Saturday, May 5, 2018


For me to write like a human being I’d have to be a human being but this society offers me no way to be a human being. My body does not conform to the only two things I’m allowed to be so I must be nothing within society. I must live outside of society. I kept trying to disguise my non-resident status in order to fit in but they kept insisting on stripping me naked, putting me under the spotlight or the streetlamp. They had their version of doctors for those like me or doctors as they liked to call them. They had their mission. Their forms of interrogation. These interrogations were mandatory. I answered their questions after I lied because they promised me salvation or pardon in return. They promised the truth would set me free but they lied and called these lies the truth. The truth was they wanted to uncover what I was so they could identify me and identify me to destroy me because identification isn’t fluid it’s destruction. Anything was fair game when it comes to destroying a virus is how their thinking goes. Their thinking is an immune system response, that’s all any thinking is. I lived among them long enough to understand their thinking or immune system response. I understood I needed to avoid it however possible. My life—by which I mean that small thing that travels incognito in disguise on a road leading in a diagonal direction in another dimension without me and which I will never catch up to—depends on it. They can’t make me care what happens to this society which is the only thing they want from me without caring anything about me in return. This is my revolution. It’s quiet. It’s basically a refusal to talk, which is to repeat the lies I was taught. My refusal to care when the missiles fall. My refusal to stand for the flag. My refusal to support the troops who are always fighting my friends which are always the enemy. The next society may have a place for me. My body might fit in better there. Wherever there is or might be I’m willing to bet on it. I’m willing to go to it. “There” I define as anything other than here. Here is nowhere. Anywhere is better than here.

—from I Am A Sissy Jihadist

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