=Some Thoughts on Chinese Food, Man=

I'm eating Chinese food, man, 

I'm eating Chinese food,

don't bother me now man,

I'm eating Chinese food.

Chinese food is sloppy, good, & hot

for five bucks you sure get a lot

the sauce is yummy, gummy, & viscous

like warm salty snot;
it tastes good on anything.

Chinese food is the best, man,

it's made by Chinese people

with stony faces

who seldom crack a smile

like Easter Island heads

like the Great Wall of China

but I don't smile either

so that's okay with me.

(Stir-fried by a wiry Taoist
in a disreputable smock
an alchemist presiding
over a flaming wok
Chinese food is most mysterious
you'd think Chinese food 
were the most serious business in the world.

You'd think Chinese food 
were a matter of do or die.
You'd think Chinese food was like a stick in the eye
that just tastes better.
Well, maybe it is, man,
maybe it is!)

Take it out or eat it in
they don't give a damn.
Good for lunch or dinner
& your inner Charlie Chan.
Chinese food is the shit, man,
inscrutable as hell,
 half an hour later
you're starving for Taco Bell.

When you're done they give you 
fortune cookies that say "good lucks!"

but I ask you,
Do they mean it?
Yeah, I ask you,
Do they really really mean it?

What's that chunk you're holding between your chopsticks?

Just pop it in your mouth, don't over think it,
you ever see a Chinese guy eat,
they do it in a hurry,
they got their reasons,
they know a thing or two,
they've been around for forty thousand seasons,
the Ming, the Ching, the Badda-Badda Bing,
their wisdom is indisputable,

so swallow it down, man, 

don't ask too many questions,

everything tastes better like that, anyway!

That's the way you do it.

That's the way you live a life.
Confucius say before you die 
you gotta eat a pound of dirt
& a mountain of flied lice.

Kung pow me some of this

Mu shu me some of that

Szechuan doggie

Hunan cat
I don't give a damn,
just put some duck sauce on it, 
lay it on my Mao Tse Tongue,
just give me some of that Chinese food, man,
goo-goo gaga fung.

—lyrics by Pussy Nagasaki

—music: a guy smoking a cigarette & talking on his cellphone
while waiting for his microwave popcorn to pop (up to 4 minutes on high).