=Complex Electra=

A little something different this morning. My wife and her lover decide to turn me into a girl. Just like that. I don’t even object! How can I—? It’s hard that his name turns out to be “Bert,” that takes some getting used to, I never saw that coming. He hits me hard in the mouth, I fall to the floor, he rapes me. Just so there are no misunderstandings. It’s all pretty easy from that point on, as my wife likes to explain.

On their honeymoon, I clear out a little corner for myself in the basement. That’s where I sleep now, by the furnace, like a cat.

Flash forward…the hormone therapy, the breast augmentation, the castration, you adjust to these things, for the sake of love. 

“We’ll throw you out in the cold, in the snow, on a crutch,” my ex-wife says to me. “You’ll be forced to seek charity from the Church, with all the other homeless crones.”

It’s not as bad as it sounds.

They advertise, they find me a gay lover. He reminds me, inevitably, of my father. His name is “Pat.” I sigh, I nod to indicate that I understand. I bend over, kneel down, etc. Nothing ever works out quite the way you picture it.

I have a hysterical pregnancy on the exact same day that all the banks collapse. “It’s a miracle!” the doctors warn.