Being submissive is a means of gathering information. One can learn a great deal about others and the world by appearing to erase one's own will, by reducing oneself to near-zero.
While on the surface, a sub surrenders herself, gives herself up, the dominant reveals just as much, if not much more, than any submissive. A submissive's obedience, her agreeable nature, her non-confrontational compliance and total lack of aggression, her expected helplessness, can disarm a dominant and encourage him or her to speak and act with unguarded confidence. As a result, a dominant will reveal otherwise well-guarded truths, secrets, and aspects of themselves they are hardly aware they are revealing.
A submissive is the ultimate spy in the house of love.
Maybe, for me, this all originates as a child, crouching (as if at a man's feet,) by the wall of the bedroom, listening at the heating vent to my parents arguing downstairs in the kitchen. Or, even more significantly, to their murmured behind-doors conversations, not quite arguments, but heated and urgent, in which they discussed what was really happening between them in that teetering household. It was only by remaining quiet, passive, as close to invisible as possible, by becoming "all ears," alert to the slightest nuance, the subtlest message, spoken or unspoken, in tone or body-language, ready to obey before being ordered, anticipating the needs of powerful others out of fear of suddenly becoming noticed, which often meant instant punishment, that I survived.
But more than survived—I acquired the information necessary to succeed to the degree, minor though it's been, that it's been possible for me to succeed in this world. It was as a child, disadvantaged by nature and circumstance, that I learned the incalculable value of submission for one without strength enough to dominate others or even to take full control of her own life in a world seemingly filled with those better equipped, and not always benevolently, to do so.
This was my education as a submissive. It was a lesson I've never forgotten. Because unlike algebra, it was a skill I really would need later in life…if I intended to endure it.
While on the surface, a sub surrenders herself, gives herself up, the dominant reveals just as much, if not much more, than any submissive. A submissive's obedience, her agreeable nature, her non-confrontational compliance and total lack of aggression, her expected helplessness, can disarm a dominant and encourage him or her to speak and act with unguarded confidence. As a result, a dominant will reveal otherwise well-guarded truths, secrets, and aspects of themselves they are hardly aware they are revealing.
A submissive is the ultimate spy in the house of love.
Maybe, for me, this all originates as a child, crouching (as if at a man's feet,) by the wall of the bedroom, listening at the heating vent to my parents arguing downstairs in the kitchen. Or, even more significantly, to their murmured behind-doors conversations, not quite arguments, but heated and urgent, in which they discussed what was really happening between them in that teetering household. It was only by remaining quiet, passive, as close to invisible as possible, by becoming "all ears," alert to the slightest nuance, the subtlest message, spoken or unspoken, in tone or body-language, ready to obey before being ordered, anticipating the needs of powerful others out of fear of suddenly becoming noticed, which often meant instant punishment, that I survived.
But more than survived—I acquired the information necessary to succeed to the degree, minor though it's been, that it's been possible for me to succeed in this world. It was as a child, disadvantaged by nature and circumstance, that I learned the incalculable value of submission for one without strength enough to dominate others or even to take full control of her own life in a world seemingly filled with those better equipped, and not always benevolently, to do so.
This was my education as a submissive. It was a lesson I've never forgotten. Because unlike algebra, it was a skill I really would need later in life…if I intended to endure it.
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