If I could have grown up, I'd have been Patti Smith when I grew up.

I had my hormone injection yesterday & then made the mistake of listening/watching Patti Smith sing "A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall" on Youtube, a performance which was recorded at the Bob Dylan's Nobel Prize ceremony. I sat there on the floor of the bedroom bawling like a baby. Great big belly-heaving sobs, my face a dish full of tears overflowing. My response was so startling and unexpected and violent that it upset me even more and I started crying even harder. A hard rain was gonna fall alright, I just didn't know the storm was going to be coming from inside me.

I guess after a time you've come to see a lot of stuff in your life that Dylan is singing about. I mean, I never saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it or a roomful of men with their hammers all bleeding or even a newborn baby with wolves all around it…I've never seen those things  literally, but I've seen the things those things are metaphors for. I guess everyone has. Or most people have. Or some people. Oh what the hell do I know what anyone else has seen!? 

But I've seen those things and it struck me as unbearably sad—it struck me that everything is unbearably sad—and Patti Smith in this rendition of the song expressed that sadness beautifully. Too beautifully, if such a thing is possible. Maybe you can get through this song without tearing up. But, personally, I wouldn't recommend it after a 5ml injection of estradiol valerate.  I'm afraid to even watch it again.

Click here to bawl your eyes out: Patti Smith sings A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall

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