=Thought for the Day=

Be careful: this could happen to you!
I was once probably someone like you. Someone with a secret feminine self. I compulsively surfed through the internet looking for sissy and transgender sites, looking at pictures, reading stories, fantasizing about what it would be like to be a girl. It seemed so unrealistic, something so beyond the realm of possibility that I  took for granted it was all just grist for the masturbation mill. I started going to online chatrooms and hooked up with others who shared my fantasies and that made things a little more real—but not so real as to threaten what I then considered my real "real" life. There were some brief flirtations with meeting up with this or that online partner and I almost went through with it on several occasions, but then I'd always back out at the last moment. Yikes! What the hell was I thinking, I asked myself. How could I even consider meeting someone in real life? I never got a really good answer. I still clung to my "reality" as a man but in the background another part of me was always pulling in the opposite direction, intent on making me lose my grip.  Of course, I should have realized then that I was losing control of my "fantasy" life, that it was growing larger and more powerful, that it was subsuming, draining the life and color, the very reality out of what I'd considered up to then my real life.

It was inevitable that my marriage should suffer. I was, after all, imagining myself to be a woman even while making love to my wife. I never initiated what little sex we had and even then I would imagine that my wife was the man, or she was fucking me with a strap-on, or there was a man in the room with us, fucking us both. Neither of us were happy. I was spending increasing amounts of time in front of my computer screen, living my second life. She thought she had married a man and I was turning into something she hadn't planned on marrying: a woman. She didn't fully understand this at first, but when her dissatisfaction and suspicion reached critical mass she was driven to break into my computer and see what was going on;  she got an eyeful.

Divorce followed. Then a few more years where I dated women while fantasizing about becoming one. Still it didn't quite dawn on me. Still, I thought the idea of becoming a woman so preposterous, so impossible that by necessity it had to remain nothing more than a sex-fantasy.

Until, finally, after yet another catastrophic break-up and a half-assed failed suicide attempt, I said to myself why not? Why not give it a try? Buy a wig, put on a nightie and heels, take a selfie, post an ad on Craiglist. Offer guys a no-strings-attached blow job. See what happens. If you're thinking of killing yourself anyway, what difference does it make what you do, what the consequences are? Death is the big eraser. Oblivion is your trap door, your escape hatch. You'll be long gone before the news hits the stands.

Well, I don't mean to write an entire autobiography here. I did something of the sort in my short collection of pieces "A Girl the Hard Way." My point is that if you've got a strong enough imagination a fantasy can start to concretize, take form in reality. It's like magic—actually, I'm convinced that this is what real magic is. So be careful. Your fantasies, especially your sex fantasies, culminating as sex fantasies so often do with the powerful energy release of an orgasm, can make things happen in the real world. In my case, they made me a girl. Not overnight, mind you. But over time, a kind of delayed spell, a slow-motion hocus-pocus that is, perhaps, less dramatic but no less magical than if  I'd just said "abracadabra I'm a girl."

So be careful what you spank your monkey to. Because you could end up like I did this weekend attending an out-of-town wedding wearing a little black cocktail dress and heels. Once, such a scenario was just a fantasy. Now, it's just another day in the life of a sissywife!